Maxime mei paenitet, vendidi uxorem tua in agora eBay.I'm really sorry, I sold your wife on eBay.(Shouted into a mobile phone)Sum in longus quadrigarus!I'm on the train!Nuntiis meis non respondebat, ergo illam reliqui in LociMei.She wasn't replying to my emails, so I dumped her on MySpace.Ego fleo?Am I bovvered?If Latin's good enough for Caesar, it's good enough for you. And some things just sound far better in the old tongue. No longer 'the dead language', Latin has been given a whole new lease of life in a manner befitting twenty-first-century folk and their daily chit-chat. From Sat Nav and MySpace to plastic surgery and bingedrinking, this language lover's bible guarantees you'll go down a storm when you're invited to the Vatican.

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