All the rules are changing. Nowadays you need to be able to act the part, not just look it, or the chances of her hanging around are, frankly, nil. She expects you to be a man's man, to know your way around, know how to react smoothly to situations and not be wrong-footed by a smarmy know-it-all wine waiter (assuming you're not a smarmy know-it-all wine waiter yourself, that is). You need to know how to play the game. We've checked out all the rules of engagement and presented them here in 20 easily digested chapters. If you don't know how to host a romantic supper at home don't panic! It's here. If she's a sophisticated, arty type and expects you to know that Nietzsche isn't the sound of a posh bird sneezing we'll show you how to bluff your way through the literature minefield. Plus, of course, you still want a life - here's how to beat the bookie, drink without a hangover and dance like a pro. Because, as we all know, all work and no play makes Jack an axe-wielding maniac.