The irreverent guide to losing -- or finding -- your true soul mate In love with an obtuse Taurus, a drunk Pisces, or a hotheaded Aries? Forget traditional astrology and visit the maladjusted side of the universe. Love on a Rotten Day debunks myths, reveals flaws, and examines the dubious virtues of every sign, while still showing how to tame the Leo or outwit the Gemini that you're hooked on. In this refreshingly honest guide to love, author Hazel Dixon-Cooper shows you how to: Safely dump a Scorpio Snag a romance-phobic Aquarius Get rid of that clingy Libra Convince a Virgo to have spontaneous sex Make a Sagittarius monogamous Keep a wandering Gemini happy at home It also includes ""Fatal Attractions"" -- an irreverent sun sign compatibility guide -- and a scorecard for each sign, from Best Bets (in and out of bed) to Just Good Friends. Traditional astrology texts won't tell you how to disentangle your Cancer boyfriend from around your ankles so that you can have a night out with your friends -- but they will tell you that he is a ""nurturing homebody."" Likewise, they fail to warn you that the sweet nothings your Pisces girlfriend whispers are more her fantasies than actual truth, and that the passionate nature of your Aries lover is confined to on-demand sex and nightly temper tantrums. Luckily, Love on a Rotten Day offers brazenly honest profiles of all the sun signs (including the disagreeable parts) and takes a deeper look into everyone's emotionally mixed-up Moon, Mars, and Venus signs. Author and Cosmopolitan Bedside Astrologer Hazel Dixon-Cooper delivers the goods on the cheaters, manipulators, bullies, brats, nutcases, and nymphos of the zodiac. (Whether this is good or bad, well -- that's up to you.) She also offers helpful tips on how to best use your own inner brat to win those endless games that lovers play. An honest and uproarious guide to losing and finding your true soul mate (and everyone before, after, and in between), Love on a Rotten Day is the perfect book to have handy before you ask anyone ""What's your sign?""