Misanthrope, n.: 1.) One who hates mankind; a curmudgeon; a loner; 2.) The guy in your office who responded to your e-mail of baby photos with "D-. Passing, but not college material"; 3.) A Realist From The Misanthrope's Guide to Life In this guide, you'll learn how to get away from the pain-in-the-asses who make you seriously consider investing in a fallout shelter and making it your new home. You'll take isolated comfort in these survival strategies, including how to: - Conduct managed incoherence to get the delivery boy from the lobby to your door - Take a "French leave" in order to eat alone at work - Get ousted from your kickball league by dressing as Magnum, P.I. for every game - Get back at the jerk yapping on his cell phone by reciting the lyrics to Harry Chapin's version of "Cat's in the Cradle" - End a conversation by "Gwynething" (also known as playing the "I'm delightfully foreign" act) someone to death This is the survival guide you will be annoyed not to have.

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