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"PARP!" Pssst! Do you know the story about Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603) and the -- er -- farting courtier? One day, when bowing low to Her Majesty, the Earl of Oxford couldn't help but break wind. The poor man felt SO embarrassed, that he left the court -- and some say the country -- for SEVEN years. Upon his return, after such a long absence, the first thing Good Queen Bess said on seeing him was, "Lord, I had forgot the fart!"

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